Whine, whine, whine…

image from fadingmarginsofdani.blogspot.com

I am in a whiny mood and having trouble concentrating on my work. Poor me! Then I remembered something from Jacob Glass.

“In Beverly Hills, right now” (he speaks with a curious emphasis, an urgency that falls on key words), “there are people bitterly complaining because they just got home from Paris, and now they have to pack for Hawaii!

Last year I complained because I was teaching full-time. This year I am having to root around in the attic of my brain and find new reasons to complain. But, really, Bethany? Just do your work.

 

Piano Practice

Piano Practice

When I was a little girl, eight or nine years old, it was decided that I should have piano lessons. My uncle–a high school math teacher (and later, the high school Principal, a sometimes formidable presence)–agreed to teach me. I began riding the bus home with my cousins on Wednesday afternoons. I remember being scared the first time, feeling an attack of shyness that made me want to run to Bus #2, driven by our neighbor, Mr. Rasmussen. But I was curious, too. I got on the unfamiliar bus and spent the afternoon–and subsequent Wednesday afternoons–watching TV stations that didn’t come in on our farm, and playing marbles. Later, I helped my Aunt Evelyn in the kitchen and ate dinner with the family.

After work, that first lesson, Uncle Billy came home and sat down on the piano bench to introduce me to the routine. I remember him from later lessons, sitting in his armchair, his arm waving like a metronome, counting out the beats for me. I never really caught on, I’m sorry to say.

But I absorbed lessons other than the obvious. One thing that was really different about that household, that made it different from my own, was the importance of music. Both a piano and an organ sat in the living room. My uncle, eventually tired of my struggling attempts, would sit down on the piano bench and show me how the music should sound. And then, losing himself in the music, he would begin playing something dark and difficult. He would lean close to my ear and narrate what the music illustrated. And it did. Storms unfurled outside the living room windows, wind and rain and thunder.

My uncle died yesterday, aged ninety. A good, long life. Still living at home. Married to my aunt Evelyn for at least 65 years.

I’m glad it rained today. I listened to a CD of piano music. I thought about how writing every day is like piano practice. You practice writing, even when it feels a little simple, a little like playing scales (Every Good Boy Does Fine). You practice to keep your hand in, to limber up, to get ready, to get proficient. You practice because that’s what you do.

I thought about all of those things, and I thought about my uncle, one of the great lights of my childhood.

Writing on the Run

Love the life you live. Live the life you love.

~ Bob Marley

I have done a lot of driving this past month, and I have more trips coming. My shoulder is sore–one of those side-effects of aging, I think–and driving aggravates it. More important, being on the road disrupts my writing schedule. Knowing that I have a trip coming up is a kind of block to progress, a mental roadblock. I get tense. I feel as though one day of writing isn’t enough. Wouldn’t it be nice if I had two days in a row? Or a week in a row? How about a month of writing days in a row! Yes!

This is not to say that I don’t plan these trips myself. This is not to say that I don’t consider it my privilege to see my mother and take her to the doctor and shopping and out to lunch. (Besides, she buys my lunch.) This is not to say that fetching my 20-year-old home from Bellingham on Thursday doesn’t sound like a good thing.

But it is what it is. It’s funny that I never have any trouble wasting time — playing Spider Solitaire (crack cocaine for writers, Heather Sellers once told me), or getting stuck watching Reality TV with a daughter because the behavior of those people is just so weird. 

What I have to remind myself of, is that I don’t need scads and scads of time in which to write. I need 15 minutes. Lucky me, this morning I had several 15-minute blocks.

Lucky you. You have them, too. If you hear yourself saying, “I can’t,” I recommend that you go straight toward that can’t. I recommend that you embrace whatever it is that you’re resisting. Don’t use anything as an excuse to avoid  the pursuit of your passion.

Technically? All you ever have is now.

Puh-puh-procrastination…

I sometimes give students a “how-to” assignment in which they get to write an essay teaching me (and the rest of the class) how to do something they are really good at. It’s surprising how many students write about procrastination. It’s surprising and funny. Ironic! I seriously doubt anyone can teach me anything about procrastination. I am a master-level procrastinator.

One way to procrastinate on getting writing done is to drop everything and read about procrastination. I recommend Steven Pressfield’s The War of Art. He has an entire section on “Resistance,” which is procrastination by another name, and he says cheeky things like this:

“Creating soap opera in our lives is a symptom of Resistance. Why put in years of work designing a new software interface when you can get just as much attention by bringing home a boyfriend with a prison record?”

Another source I am happy to recommend is Roy Peter Clark’s chapter, “Turn Procrastination into Rehearsal,” from Writing Tools: 50 Essential Strategies for Every Writer. 

cabin4And where am I on my project? Despite messing around with the blog for quite-a-long-time yesterday, I hit the 5,000 word mark in typing up the various scraps from my notebooks. I wrote 7 new pages, longhand, in a new notebook. And (perhaps most important) I had dinner with my friend Janet, who over the last few days reread the manuscript of Acts 1 and 2, and told me, as pleasantly as possible, that I must stop messing with what’s working.

More tomorrow.