Coming to Birth

1955A picture of my mother, pregnant with me (seated, just left of center and staring straight into the camera), with 8 of her 10 sisters and a sister-in-law.  (Oh, wait — 7 sisters and one niece.) I don’t know where my older brother is (napping?) but he would be very close in age to the babies sitting nearby.

I had a dream last night in which I was some sort of spy and I went in search of my daughter. When I found her, it seemed that someone had gotten to her, had changed her mind about something essential, and my new task (this is where I woke up) was to find out what had happened to do this. Who had betrayed me?

I know from lots of journal work and reflection, and a recurring set of dreams about daughters, that when I dream about a daughter I am always dreaming about my creative self. Something is about to be born… Often, something wants to be born and I’ve been standing against the door, holding it shut and saying, “No.”

Usually the person who betrays me, is me. What if I got out of my own way? What if I said, “Yes”?

horse2

What if you said, “Yes”?

3 replies
  1. Donata
    Donata says:

    Oh my, this is poignant for me at this moment. I too have been faced with “betrayal” as a word that keeps coming at me. I never thought that it would be coming at me from my “self”. back to the journal….

    Reply

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