Fear Itself…
image borrowed from http://darkwolfsfantasyreviews.blogspot.com/2009_03_01_archive.html
The day I posted about my inertia? How it wasn’t some big hairy fear, just inertia that keeps me from my work? Everywhere I looked I found evidence to the contrary. That evening, my last night in my mom’s apartment in Chehalis, I binge watched Criminal Minds, and all three episodes were (of course) about fear. Here are two of the quotes from the wrap-ups:
“Fairy tales do not tell children the dragons exist. Children already know that dragons exist. Fairy tales tell children the dragons can be killed.” ― G.K. Chesterton
“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.” ― Eleanor Roosevelt
Was it inertia that led me to stay up until midnight…or to use three hours of solitude on tv rather than on my own work…or packing mom’s kitchen?
Just because you refuse to face it, Bethany, doesn’t mean it’s not fear.
I’ve been meaning to say this for awhile, though,… On the other hand. The work you have been doing with accompanying your mom, though very hard, is very good work. And when we are doing very good work, and very hard work, then we really need to be able to ease up on ourselves and give ourselves some real downtime doing whatever the heck we feel like doing without feeling guilty about doing so. It can be a good thing.
However, I admit that it could be, if we are truly not facing our fears — and only you can know that — then we might enjoy our down time more, if we did face them. But it sounds to me like those criminal minds episodes might have been just the graces you needed? Just sayin. . .
And the spider solitaire. We’re humans and we need these ups and downs and to lovingly give ourselves complete down time. : )
I think you’re right. In any case, beating myself up isn’t helpful. On Aug 23, 2014 12:17 PM, “A Writer's Alchemy” wrote:
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